Well, which is it ? Both are endlessly keen to please, live with you in every room in the house. Will lie on your bed all night if you let them.

They’re both capable of excreting shit and making you happy.

There’s only one you can take for a walk and throw a stick to be retrieved.

But dogs aren’t so good at many things, including helping you talk to colleagues, put together reports and tackle your email.

But your computer doesn’t have those floppy ears and beguiling eyes. It tries to please, but is clumsy and doesn’t really know you. The sheer anarchy of a dog is sometimes all you crave.

Sorry, computer…

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